Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
