so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
