I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She even gives head with a lisp.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
