drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
