the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My vagina is very pro this idea
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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