1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
