Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
