I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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