the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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