It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
me + whiskey = a bad person
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
