Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
