hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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