Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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