All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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