Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
