you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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