his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize