my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
