is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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