I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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