She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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