You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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