I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
