I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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