Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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