Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
