i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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