i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
