Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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