Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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