Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
