I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize