Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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