I bet he comes in French.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
