Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
