you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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