saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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