hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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