We're facebook friends in real life
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
