Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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