Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
