Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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