Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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