I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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