Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
