the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
