im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
