There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
