Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
