i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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