is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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