im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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