plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
