I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
