I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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