so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
