Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize