I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
