I heard we made out
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
