either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
