Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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