you would pick up someone in the library
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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