if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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