I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
