This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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