sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
