babies were throwing up all over the place
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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