it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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