Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
