You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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