I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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