Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize