Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
