Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
