last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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