yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
