I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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